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Guilty pleasure.

I have a confession to make.

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.

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I cannot stop watching TLC’s “90 Day Fiance’: The Other Way.” I try. I try so hard not to watch it. But it’s the gift that keeps on giving.

What it’s giving me probably requires a Z-pack, but here I am anyway.

Speaking of strong antibiotics, one of the women on the show (Ari) is moving to Ethiopia…while seven months pregnant. The father of her baby (whose nickname is Baby) is a martial arts star (and I use “star” loosely) in Ethiopia, and he can’t get a visa to come to the US for the birth of the baby. So off she goes to Ethiopia to give birth.

A lot of good things come out of Ethiopia. Excellent food, a former coworker who was both handsome and smart. Advances in pre-natal care? Not so much. Previews show Ari curling her lip up at her new accommodations in country, so that’s going to be good. I’m not sure why she expected the Ritz Carlton.

Then there’s Jenny and Sumit. This is not their first appearance on the show. Sumit catfished Jenny years ago, pretending to be someone more handsome and rich. But he admitted it, and showed his true self (ahem), and Jenny fell in love with the real Sumit. Last season she moved to India where Sumit left her in an apartment most of the time until Sumit’s wife’s parents showed up to drag him home.

Yeah. You heard me. HE HAD A WIFE.

Now he claims to be divorced so off Jenny goes to India to be with her true love, who, by the way, is something like 40 years her junior. In their defense, sort of, they do seem to be genuinely as in love as they could be, with a relationship based entirely on lies from the get-go. I’m sort of secretly rooting for them? Maybe? It would be nice if there were light at the end of this tunnel.

Should we travel to Jordan to check in on Brittany and Yazan? Shall we? Let’s do.

They met online, Brittany has been to Jordan once, and they got engaged. What’s wrong with that, you ask? WELL. Yazan’s family are very, very devout Muslims and Brittany is, not so much. They are expecting Yazan and Brittany to get married the minute Brittany lands and for her to convert and let me tell you, you do not need to be any kind of psychic to know that’s not going to happen.

Not just because Brittany has said as much, but also because she’s still married to her ex.

There seems to be a pattern among these people. Honesty isn’t one of their special gifts.

Within ten minutes of Brittany landing in Jordan, Yazan has already lost his sh** completely and gotten kind of scary violent. You can almost sense the tension among the producers, wondering if they should even let Brittany go anywhere with this guy. If he’s this crazy on camera, what happens off camera? It’s a real concern for me.

There’s another couple who also got pregnant upon first meeting, and are now trying to make it work in South Korea, but they don’t interest me as much.

The best couple, and the ones everyone sincerely wants to make it, are Armando and Kenny. They met online (of course) in a chat group for single gay fathers. Armando’s wife died and left him with his daughter in Mexico, and Kenny had his children with a dear friend. Kenny is much older than Armando, and his children are now grown.

Armando had tried to come out to his family years ago, and as devout Catholics, it didn’t go well. In one episode, he comes out again to his sister, and then his parents, and tells them he’s moving to be with Kenny. And oh, by the way, I’m taking my kid whom you all love and dote upon daily.

This time the family takes it much better, with love for Armando and wishes for his happiness, and I cried my eyes out. Just sobbed like a baby. Armando’s mother said she loves him unconditionally and he’s her son forever. The father says the same. When Armando mentions bringing Kenny home, the mother is on board but the padre is a little more reticent. I think he’ll come around though.

We probably won’t see much of them because I’m guessing the drama will be missing there. Still, I hope those two lovebirds make it. Buena suerte, Armando y Kenny.

The lessons we’re learning from all of the 90 Day Fiance’ franchises are pretty simple:

1. People often aren’t who they say they are online

2. If you meet up with your international honey IRL, use protection.

I don’t know how these folks didn’t know these things already, but thank goodness they didn’t because now we have a TV show that really delivers.

Do I feel guilty watching it? Nah. They knew what they were getting into. I did stop watching one season because I thought producers were taking advantage of someone who clearly had mental health issues, but not in this season.

I know yesterday I said to check on me some but not tonight at 9pm EDT. I’ll be busy watching the crazy.

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